Is there a famine of good, godly and marriageable men on the earth?With over 2 billion Christians in the world, can we reasonably say there is a famine of godly people? Admittedly not everyone who say they are Christian live a Christ like life, but even at that, I do not think we can claim a dearth of godly people.
That said, there seems to be a discrepancy in the number of marriageable women today when compared with the number of marriageable men. If you take a look around you in whatever society you live in, you’d find many women who are of age and ready to be married, but not as many men. Though they are also of age, but their readiness to be a husband is questionable.
It is one thing to want a wife and another thing entirely to be ready to shoulder the responsibilities of being a husband. (And yes I agree, it is also one thing to want a husband and another thing entirely to be ready to shoulder the responsibilities of being a wife).
But is the problem with women and how they choose? The origin of this discrepancy, I believe, is in the difference between how boys and girls have been raised over the years. Generally, girls are always the focus of relationship teachings, taught to prepare for a Prince Charming, while boys are celebrated for sowing their “wild oats”. And even when men recognize this deficit in their preparation for love, they still do not give in to learning to aid their growth, because they have been allowed to get away with it.
But women also play a role in the continuance of this deficit when they do not equip themselves to choose well, when they give in to desperation to be married, and blatantly choose to settle for less just to be someone’s Mrs.
If you are a woman in your 30’s or above, I sympathize with you, knowing you’ve had to wait so long to experience oneness with another human. But know this , that oneness will be an unattainable dream if you choose the wrong man.
Like my mother in the faith said “It is better to be single and desiring marriage, than to be married and wishing you had the opportunity to be single again” Faith Oyedepo.
So what is a single matured woman to do if she seems to keep meeting men who are unserious or unprepared for marriage?
- Refuse to settle and be clear about it. Let him know you believe you deserve better and be specific, though kind, about where he falls short. The ship may have sailed with you, but at least he can know how to work on himself for the next person. And this good seed that you sow in helping to prepare him to be a better partner for the next person, you will reap.
- Keep trusting that God will bring a suitable prepared spouse your way. He did it for Adam and He hasn’t changed. You are not the only one of your kind. If you are godly, serious and generally a good person, there is someone just like you out there. Keep praying and trusting God to connect you. I highly recommend ”Your Wait is Over”, it is one book that will help you pray specific, scripture based prayers for your desired marriage. It’d also renew your hope for a kingdom marriage so you won’t settle for less. Get it here
- Equip yourself with knowledge of how to choose. Don’t wing it. Don’t rely on experiences especially if most of your experiences have been bad. That in itself may make you suspicious , desperate and act in ways that will put off a good suitor. Work on your heart. Heal, learn, and be intentional about growing.
- Practice Contentment. “For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.”
1 Timothy 6:7-8 KJV
You didn’t bring a spouse into this world and no matter the love, you won’t take a spouse out of it. Be contented in your identity as a child of God. Be contented in having your basic needs met. Be contented with the love from friends and family. Find fulfillment in being a blessing to others. Contentment is the cure for desperation. Yes, you desire marriage, but be contented with being single until your desire comes. A contented woman is a confident and desirable woman.
Remember, you shouldn’t fall for the enemies tricks, that a shortage of godly people is the reason you are still single. Falling for this lie will make you susceptible to the other lie which says, marry anyone that is a little bit good and has a facade of godliness. Listen, if you are good and godly, have it settled in your heart that of the billions of Christians out there, there is someone good and godly waiting to find you.
When women would rather be single than settle for less, offering sex cheaply, moving in without marriage, paying bills and picking up the slack, just to have the title of Mrs, men will be forced to rise up to the occasion. I genuinely believe this.
When women set the standard, a godly standard, and refuse to be desperate, men will eventually rise to meet that standard. So dear woman, it begins with you, stop settling. Set an unshakable godly standard, and the men coming your way will either level up or leave!
With Christ’s exotic love,
Mrs Omoghene.
P.S: Don’t be a stranger, did this resonate with you in any way? Leave me a comment 👇🏾. Also pay it forward by sharing this post to your social media status and stories. God bless you.