I’ve been in this situation a number of times so I know firsthand what it feels like to burn with unrequited love, pining after a guy who has friend zoned you or is too busy living his life to notice you. It hurts!
I’d be honest though, this happened mostly in my teens and twenties, I do not know what this feels like for someone in their 30’s who is actively searching for love only to not have it reciprocated .
As painful as this situation is though, there is a way out (there always is), and that’s the purpose of this blog post. Here are the timeless truths that helped me navigate the turbulent waters of unrequited love:
1. Pray over your heart and emotions often, it is the seat of your desire.
One thing about me – I will pray about everything. The fact that I’m an introvert who doesn’t have many friends make this my number one go to.
Sis, curl up on your bed and lay it on God. He cares about every inch of your hurting heart and guess what, He is the only one who can heal it, so win win. Share the emotions, the pain, the desire etc., just talk to Him. This is what I love about David- he was simply a man who talked to God. In the deepest darkest moments of his life, he wrote to the lover of his soul, and that has become the psalms we read today.
Check this one out : “I look for someone to come and help me, but no one gives me a passing thought! No one will help me; no one cares a bit what happens to me. Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say, “You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life. Hear my cry, for I am very low. Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me.”
Psalms 142:4-6 NLT
God doesn’t shy away from your pain, He wants your healing and wholeness above all. In 3John 2, He says to you “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”
3 John 1:2 KJV
Believe Him. Turn to Him and let Him heal you.
2. Actively redirect your mind away from him, and focus on you.
Once you learn this , you win. Your mind, your thoughts, your feelings and emotions are yours to control. I used to struggle with this, until I read this profound scripture in Michelle McKinney Hammond’s book : “I love them that love me; And those that seek me early shall find me.”
Proverbs 8:17 KJV
Be like wisdom, she said. Stop letting your thoughts and feelings stray to someone who won’t stay with you. Move on. Grab the control and change the channel of your thoughts. Think of something else, you have the power to do so, otherwise scripture won’t say “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Philippians 4:8 KJV
You choose what to think on and you shouldn’t choose to continue expending mental energy on someone who isn’t thinking of you. Simple, change the channel, as often as you need to.
3. Get busy with projects in line with your assignment.
Listen every thing about you uses ATP (in lay man terms – energy) i.e your thoughts, your feelings, moods etc. Therefore, channel your energy wisely. This is not about distracting yourself, this is about wisely investing yourself, pouring yourself into what will yield dividends, because wanting a man who doesn’t want to be yours will pay you nothing. So get a pen and paper right now and write down projects, goals, opportunities that you can explore or give more of your time and thoughts too, and begin to do that. You will never regret it. One day you’d have a success story to tell for the heartbreak you experienced. As a matter of fact, this is how beauty comes out of our ashes. Or haven’t you noticed that after a separation/divorce, some women come out with brand new organizations, projects, podcasts etc. while others languish? This is what makes the difference.
4. Meet and be friends with other males.
The reason you’re pining for one is because you can’t see others. Open your eyes and see them, they are all around you. While you’re busy longing for one, there is another longing for you. Give friendship a chance. Intentionally get to know other people, new people, step outside your comfort zone to do this. When you realize that you have options, you won’t be so heartbroken about one person’s no. One man’s maybe is another man’s most definitely. So wipe your tears, put on your mascara and get out there. There are friendships waiting on the other side of your loneliness.
Did this bless you? Then I have something else that’d bless you even more. In our Relationship Mentoring Program, I go deeply into how to pursue healing and wholeness after heartbreaks, how to meet new prospects regularly and how to evolve as an overall successful and whole single who is rightly positioned for love. If you’ve been hurt and disappointed several times, this is the program you need to heal and find your true love. Check it out here
Not interested in the relationship mentoring program, but this article was helpful to you? Then do me a solid, share it right now to your WhatsApp status, Instagram stories, group chats etc. Simply use the share button below, that’s the thank you I’d appreciate the most. (Or you can just say thank you in the comments and share what you found most helpful).
Whatever the case, don’t leave this page without doing or saying something, I’d love to get to know you 💛
Want to add to this list or share a personal experience on this? Use the comment button below.
With Christ’s exotic love,
Mrs Omoghene
Absolutely beautiful read. God bless you ma🙏🏾
Thank you! God bless you too. Please share to bless others.💛