I have spoken to several young couples who feel they have to spice things up in the bedroom by watching some sex scenes together. Some even watch these lewd display of fornication/adultery in order to learn how to be better in bed.
They believe the end justifies the means, that is “if we can learn how to make love better, and my spouse and I are having better sex in general, does it matter where we learned it from?” I’m here today to say, it definitely matters! Here’s why:
1. Pornography is unnecessary
At the beginning, most couples will have disappointing sex, because of ignorance, unrealistic expectations set forth by the media etc., The primary way couples can improve their sex experience is by knowledge (continuing to learn each other sexually) and open communication about it. It is much better and more productive to talk to each other plainly and truthfully about what you’re enjoying and redirect away from what you’re not, during each lovemaking session, than to watch other people make love. If you keep ensuring what you’re not enjoying, even pornography can’t help you, it’s just a trap to seek pleasure outside of each other.
2) Pornography displays all kinds of perversity that are unnatural and satanic ideas.
You find threesomes, anal sex, bestiality, homosexuality etc. and they will sneak these things on you as you keep wanting more. You as a believer, can rely on godly ideas to have mind-blowing sex. And many such ideas are being taught today through books, sex coaches etc. The church is becoming increasingly vocal about it so there is no need to turn to perversity. If you haven’t read one book written by Christian authors on the topic of sex, what’s your excuse for turning to pornography? Be truthful to yourself.
Moreover, there is a Spirit in you, the Spirit of the manufacturer of sex, engage Him. Job 32:8, 1John 2:27. The Holy Spirit can help you as a Christian couple have passionate sex. He can tell you the right things to say, to do, the right attitude and perspective to have etc., that will make you connect deeper with your spouse emotionally hence leading to more passionate sex. Stop underestimating or limiting His influence in your life!
3. Pornography can easily become a weight and therefore unwise.
Addiction is a huge possibility. And when couples begin to rely on things outside each other for sexual arousal, it can become a weight on their relationship. There are many marriages under the yoke of an addiction to pornography and masturbation, where the husband has to watch some other people before he can get turned on etc. Do not bring your good relationship under such.
Is the content of the material you’re consuming to actually teach or to promote iniquity? Are you funding ungodliness by paying / subscribing to view such? Will the Holy Spirit in you like to watch two unmarried people having sex in order to teach married people how to have sex? Let’s be real.
4. Pornography is self-seeking and promotes instant gratification while the fruit of the Spirit is love and self-control.
You find couples where one person wants something they’ve watched that seemed to bring such ecstasy and they want same from their spouses and begin to cajole or force. You turn your spouse to a mere sex object, rather than a person to love and honor. This wouldn’t happen without an exposure to porn.
We belong to a calling, a profession, a covenant of self control, self denial for His glory. Make no mistake, He died for us so we can live for Him – that is our assignment.
Therefore our pleasure should always be within the limits of what brings Him pleasure. We know Our prosperity brings Him pleasure .
“Let them shout for joy and be glad, Who favor my righteous cause; And let them say continually, “Let the Lord be magnified, Who has pleasure in the prosperity of His servant.”
Psalms 35:27 NKJV
We know Marital sex and pleasure is His will.
“As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.”
Proverbs 5:19 NKJV
We know Obscenity, indecency, fornication, adultery etc, is not His will.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God;”
I Thessalonians 4:3-5 NKJV
We must continue to grow to the point where “if it doesn’t glorify Him, I want no part of it!”. It may be common but it isn’t convenient for me because I am under a covenant.
Sex is more godly than it is worldly, therefore reclaim the beauty of Holy, and Passionate sex in your home!
Love and Light Always
Mrs Omoghene
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