Some of us are blessed to marry men who freely share with us. They tell us everything. They seek our counsel and regard our opinions .
However, as our intimacy grows, it can be easy to get too comfortable and begin to unknowingly relate and respond in ways that puts that closeness at risk.
If you are married to such a man who tells you (or used to tell you) everything and you want to safeguard or win back that friendship, here are 3 key things to avoid:
The one skill that makes us good parents is capable of turning us into bad spouses, especially in the aspect of communication. With our kids, we are always instructing and correcting. The tendency is that this attribute carries over into our marriage.
The difference however is your children are young and need those instructions, your husband is a grown man who knows what to do and knows when his actions are wrong.
Recently my husband made a statement “I’m just glad that you’ve stopped telling me what to do, like a child”. I knew it was true because I remember the time I made a conscious decision to stop correcting his methods (especially about parenting). He is not me so he cannot do things exactly the way I’d do them and it’d be a form of pride for me to believe that my way is always the best way.
When talking with your spouse, have it at the back of your mind, that your opinions are suggestions not instructions. And you should be careful to share them in a suggestive manner, leaving him the choice to make.
2) Over analyzing
If he feels the need to justify every decision to you, something is wrong in your approach. Remember you chose to marry this man because you believe he has what it to takes to lead your family, second guessing and over analyzing his every move now, only states that your judgement in courtship was poor. 🤷🏽♀️
If you truly believe his decisions are not for the ultimate good of your family or doesn’t put the interest of your family first, pray for wisdom for him as regards this. No one is perfect and there is room for improvement for everyone.
Interrogating and over analyzing every decision he makes will only serve one purpose – put a communication rift between you too.
I have found that trust can be a powerful motivator. Good natured people typically do their best to live up to the trust placed in them. If your husband is typically a good natured and good intentioned person, you displaying your trust in his decisions will only motivate him to not want to disappoint.
We all know this, but some people still find it hard not to nag.
Here’s a rule of thumb to avoid nagging: mention it once, then choose to overlook any repetition of the act until a considerable amount of time has passed (at least weeks) before you ever bring it up again, if no change has occurred.
If you have to mention it more than twice, chances are, the change you seek will not happen by simply repeating yourself.
I know you may have legitimate issues with your spouse that needs to be sorted out. If you would like more clarification on how to go about this without nagging, (or any other courtship/marriage related issue) send me a private message using the form below.
Until next week,😎
With all my love❤️