I’m sure you must have heard the statement “what do you bring to the table?” Many times it has been said to ladies, to imply that they have to bring to their marriage, something more than a pretty face and good sex. I believe that’s true. But truer even is the fact that whether you know it or not, you are always bringing something more than the aforementioned into your relationship. You are bringing your values, your beliefs, your ideals.
One of such for me is HONESTY!
While we were courting, I told my husband, I’m not perfect, you already know some of my shortcomings, I will sometimes hurt you, albeit unintentionally, but one thing I will never do is lie to you. You will always know the truth. You will always know where you stand with me.
Fours years later, I still ensure that I give him absolute honesty as a gift. I consider it a gift not because I’m prone to lies (God hates the lying lips, so I wouldn’t toy with that), but because when feelings are involved, I have a tendency to hide my true feelings.
So, in essence, I promised him that as much as I’d hate to hurt you, I’d rather hurt you by telling you the truth than lie to you or hide something I believe you should know about. No matter how much it hurts you and me, you will always know the truth, the whole truth.
Have I sometimes struggled with keeping this promise? You bet I have. Have I always kept this promise? Without fail! I have constantly told the truth and expressed my true feelings on every subject matter that has come up in our marriage, when it hurts, when it’s embarrassing, when I know for sure he’d reprimand me for it.
What about you? What gift are you bringing to or currently giving your spouse? Do you tell the truth only when it’s convenient and favorable? Do you tell some of the truth and keep the rest to yourself?
To be naked and unashamed with your spouse is to be completely open and honest, whatever the cost.
Nothing is ever hidden under the sun. No matter how many years a lie goes ahead of the truth, one day, the truth will catch up with it.
Perhaps you think, if I tell this truth, it’d cost me my relationship or my marriage. I put it to you, that hiding it will not save your relationship, because whether you like it or not one day the truth will be revealed. TRUTH ALWAYS PREVAILS!
Now am I saying rush off and spill the beans? No. Every situation is unique and wisdom is required to deal with each uniquely. Several times, I have prayed for the right words, the right environment, an open heart etc, before I shared certain things with my husband. I am very careful with his heart that he has entrusted to me. You should be too.
Please seek counsel if you indeed believe that speaking the truth to your spouse can lead to the end of your marriage. Look for a godly, seasoned, marriage counselor, if the situation is very grave.
Whatever you do, refuse to live a lie or live in lies.
God bless you.
PS: This week, we celebrate our fourth year anniversary, before you go, leave us a prayer in the comments. Thank you!