How to communicate better with your wife (3 simple tips)

I am so excited to start this new series for men, because the truth is men need relationship advice too.

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Most young men today have grown up in homes without a godly role model. Some have subscribed to the stereotype, that the only thing they need to do for their wives and children is to provide financially, simply because that is the pattern that was unconsciously laid out for them by Fathers, father figures etc.

Yet they desire more, they know they should be more, but with most relationship advice directed at women, how will they learn what is required to be more.

This is not a men bashing article. I am not here to put you down or make you feel like you’re not good enough. 43% of the followers I have are men and that makes me so happy, that you are here solely because you want a better relationship with the woman in your life.

I am here to provide what you need, to give you an expose into the heart and desires of your wife, to help you meet her needs so she can be energized to meet yours as well.

Ladies reading this, I simply want to be your voice . I know you’re passionate so sometimes you want to help your husband be better, but it just comes out wrong. Now you only need to do two things, leave a comment, tell me the things you’ve been finding difficult to express, the things you’d like to see change or simply let me know if I am speaking your mind.

Also, share this blogpost with the man you love, by simply saying “hey, you know I’m always about us having a better relationship, even though I may not have been communicating that well, but I think this will help you understand my needs better”.

How to communicate better with your wife.

The first thing you should know is your wife desires intimacy with you. No matter how intimate you think you already are, she wants more. I know to you, everything may appear fine and dandy, because in your heart you genuinely love your wife, I mean that’s obvious, you forsook all others and married her.

Well, for us women, obvious isn’t really that obvious. The surest way to make us feel what you’re feeling is to say what you’re feeling. Many husbands speak love with actions, and while we wives appreciate the actions, we also want to hear that love in words.

If your wife has been complaining that you don’t really talk to her, and you don’t understand what she means because you are not mute , let me show you what she really means.

1. She wants you to communicate your feelings of love often.

When you feel it, say it. It’s never too much. Yes she knows, but she wants to keep knowing. This isn’t limited to feelings of love only. Communicate your irresistible attraction. Communicate your loneliness when she’s not there. Communicate that desire to have her be back on time.

And if you want to develop true intimacy, communicate your sadness, disappointment, frustrations, especially when she’s asking you about it. A good wife longs to be a balm for your weariness, but how can she be effective if she doesn’t know where it hurts.

Try using the words like “I feel…. “ or “this makes me feel…” . You may want to put “honestly” ahead of that to make it more manly, lol. Just communicate your feelings as often as the need or occasion arises. (Jesus communicated his feelings in tears at the garden of gethsemane, and he took along his 3 closest companions….)

2) She wants you to communicate your thoughts.

What is going on in that beautiful mind of yours, we want to know😀. When your wife shares the juicy details in her mind, she doesn’t just want to share for sharing sake, best believe she will let you know if she just wants you to listen, sometimes though, she also wants to know what you think.

Try not to respond with a simple “okay”, after you’ve quickly analyzed and concluded in your mind. If she asks “is that all you’re going to say?”, that’s your cue to come out with more information, to give words to that analyses you’ve made in your mind, lol.

And if you’re thinking, but we’ve talked about it before, why is she bringing it up again, I have no new thoughts on the matter. Let me give you a tip, repeat the old thoughts. It is most likely that she has heard your words, but she is yet to feel them or she is yet to see corresponding behavior.

A loving husband will ensure that he not only speaks the words, but that he does it as often as she needs to receive the reassurance. Imagine if God just said “okay” to every prayer, and not okay I agree, just okay I’ve heard, what kind of relationship will we have with him? He doesn’t do that thankfully, so stop doing it to your wife. The Bible is a whole book of communication. Take a cue from God.

3) She wants you to communicate your needs/desires.

If you don’t say it, she doesn’t know it, or she has forgotten about it, lol, she has a lot on her mind. If you need her companionship while watching a game or show, communicate it. I remember a night, my husband specifically said to me “I want you to watch this show with me, if you go to sleep, I will watch it myself, but I really just want to watch it with you by my side.”

It was a comedy show, and not typically my interest, but because he was so specific about his desire, I obliged. I knew I would be meeting his needs. Your wife wants to meet your needs, but you have to spell them out and the intention behind them.

If you want her to wear a certain look, communicate it. If you have a preference, communicate it. Don’t give her the task of fishing through your mind, she already has enough on her plate, practice communicating your needs/desires, especially the ones that only her can meet.

Finally, in communicating with your wife, this is the Cardinal rule : Always be kind, never harsh!. Colossians 3:19.

Wishing you God’s best in your marriage.

Mrs Omoghene.

P.S: Did you think this was spot on for men, or I missed out something, let me know in the comments. Feel free to also share other conversation points you think we should discuss with men in general. I’d love to hear your thoughts.💛