It was just a regular Saturday night in the Omoghene household. Hubs was in bed about to get a much needed rest. I walked into the room tired as usual but still putting things in place.
He was on his phone and I quietly whispered “I like how you…”, before I could finish the statement, his eyes shot up at me waiting eagerly to hear what I had to say, “….placed the bag of water”. I concluded. He just smiled a little and went back to what he was doing.
What he did wasn’t a big deal, but it was unique, different and helpful. I noticed it and for some reason just had to mention it.
However, that flicker of expectation I saw mid sentence made an indelible mark on me.
I know enough about Marriage to know that Respect and Admiration is a crucial need for men, but perhaps I had been too keen on ensuring I don’t disrespect him that I lost sight of finding ways to show my admiration of him.
In that moment, I knew I had found a missing key, one that was capable of making a difference in the day to day interaction with my husband.
I have since been using it and it has not stopped getting me the desired effect – a light in his eyes that tells me he feels noticed and admired for the amazing person that he is.
Another beneficial effect it has been having is whatever I tell him I like, he repeats! Talk about a win win situation!
I had been so focused on the big displays of love, that I lost sight of the little things that count – a simple “I like how you….”.
All it takes is to just notice something he does or did that day (to keep it new and exciting each time) and say “I like how you “did this”.
“I love you” is a great statement to say to your spouse everyday, but you may find that over time, it’d need to be spiced up with prequels and sequels like “I like how you look in that outfit”, “I like how you handled that situation”, “I like how you stayed to spend some time with me”, “I like how you asked me that”.
“I love you” can become a blanket statement under which all your other emotions like admiration, respect, affection, desire” etc hide. Your spouse needs the expression of all those individual emotions, and a good way to start is by noticing things and using specific statements like “I like how you…”
Do you do this regularly? Or are you willing to start doing it now? If yes, let me know in the comments the effect this expression of admiration is having in your relationship.
Until next week,😎
With all my love❤️