Life, Parenting

Finding fulfillment as Busy Moms

Being a mother is undoubtedly the most demanding role a woman plays in her lifetime. Growing up, one quote about motherhood that stayed with me is “A mother’s work is never done”.

I used to think it meant a mother will always be rendering help to her children throughout her lifetime, but now as a mom of young kids I realize that even now on a day to day basis, my work as a mother and home maker is never done.

There is always something left on my “to-do” to move to the next day. This combined with doing my best to pursue my goals and calling as a woman, a wife and a minister.

On most days you go to bed exhausted yet still feel like you’re not achieving all that you think you should.

So how does one keep from being constantly overworked, worn out, yet unfulfilled.

#1 Understand that burn out is a signal, not weakness.

I used to try to prevent a burn out, for some reason, I interpreted it as some form of weakness. Until I reflected properly on Isaiah 40 : 30&31. The youths ( known for strength and resilience ) faint and get weary , but those that wait on the Lord “renews” their strength.

To be in need of a renewal indicates that something is running out, is old or expired.
If you’re running out or burning out, it only means you need a renewal of strength.

If you see it as a form of weakness you will fight against it in futility, pushing yourself to extremes trying to prove a point to no one. If you see it as a signal, you will simply plug in and recharge yourself.

Burn out is your mind and body’s way of seeking renewal.

#2 Invest your time in things that actually renew you, not just entertain you :

As a mom you only have very little time on a daily basis to invest in yourself. The temptation is to seek out entertainment, but in truth there are only few movies that I’ve finished watching and I felt like “yes I’m reenergized and ready to give my best to the world” ( maybe just Harriet, on the basis of sex, the Marshall).

The rest just leaves you feeling the same way or drain the little life you have in you. So what are the things that truly pour into you and make you feel renewed and inspired?

  • Exercise,
  • Books by proven authors,
  • Worship,
  • Beauty regimen,
  • Healthy chat with friends or family,
  • Deep conversations with my husband,
  • Good ole sleep etc. are some of my go to.

List out yours so you can know exactly how to plug yourself in when you start feeling burned out or overwhelmed.

Of course, it is hard to completely strike out entertainment, on some occasions, it has its own space, just pre decide on when you will seek out entertainment instead of allowing it control you.

#3 Be intentional about how you parent:

This is an important key to fulfillment for us moms. You are going to give the bulk of your time to your kids and family on a daily basis. For most of us, this is unavoidable, because we have little help, so if you’re doing it anyway, why not give it your best, so you can be fulfilled in it.

Choose the times when you will intentionally pour into them, perhaps first 30 minutes when they wake up, last 30 minutes before they go to bed, and another 30 minutes during the day.

In those times, keep your phone away, maintain eye contact, be interested and interesting, let them feel your love, teach them the scripture, read them a story, color, pretend play, build blocks etc!

The rest of day, they may have to share your attention with other tasks, or you may be away, but you will still be fulfilled knowing that you are actively parenting and instilling your values in them everyday. #nomomguilthere

#4 Be a part of something bigger than you :

“it is more blessed to give than to receive” Acts 20:35. There is a kind of fulfillment that comes from giving your time, money, effort to something that improves or enriches the lives of others. It’s a fulfillment that you may not get from any other source.

When you contribute to something bigger than you, your life gets bigger. Your focus is taken away from you and the temporary challenges you face and you see that you are able to be a blessing even at the level that you are.

This fulfillment and change of perspective energizes you to wake up tomorrow and run your race, because you know you matter even beyond the four walls of your home.

In case you are telling yourself “ I’m so busy as a mom, how will I find time to contribute to something else?” Listen, no one “finds” time to pursue purposes and goals, you intentionally carve out time for it.

#5 Invest in your circle and routinely expand that circle:

“iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friends”. Proverbs 27:17. Be intentional about the people you choose to build friendships with, invest in them, give before you ask, be interested in them, and that good will come back to you when you need it.

Don’t be limited by your circle though, there’s a lot of great people out there, be willing to include others outside your immediate circle and attend events where you’re sure to find new like minded people.

The inspiration and encouragement that goes around in these conversations will warm you up whenever you feel cold and alone. It will also inspire you to keep pursuing your purpose as an individual. And the more fulfilled you are as a woman, the better you are as a mother.

Which point resonated the most with you? Share it with me and let’s be friends. I’m always looking to make mom friends bonded by common values.❤️

Happy Mothers Day.

With all my love,

Mrs Omoghene.

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