Courtship /Marriage

How to choose a partner that supports your dreams&goals.

One of the greatest blessings you can have in life is a supportive spouse.

Having a supportive spouse gives you the liberty to fully be yourself and give expression to all that you are.

Personally, I have enjoyed the 100% support of my husband. And it feels so good to know that I have his backing in all that my heart ventures towards.

My very supportive husband and I 🥰

Recently, we were having a conversation about our finances, and I was telling him to put some particular cash on his card, because I have some recurrent bills on mine that were due to my personal ventures.

And he goes “I know, I want to pay for those too” with such kindness and sincerity in his eyes. My heart melted.

While I’m grateful to have been blessed by his support, I’m not surprised that he is this supportive, I always knew he would be.

It hurts me when I hear about people who could achieve more in their lives but have spouses who hinder them.

This could have been avoided if they gave the relationship time and paid attention to the signs.

Most of the time people aren’t out to deceive us, our feelings just causes us to practice selective viewing, where we focus on parts about them that we love and ignore all the parts we don’t.

What does a supportive partner look like?

This is someone who wants to see you succeed in your goals, even when such success has no direct impact on them.

The things that are important to you become important to him as well.

He is willing to make personal sacrifices to support your dreams, because your happiness and fulfilment truly matters to him.

And you can identify these traits from the very beginning of your relationship. Here’s how:


1)Know your purpose&passion.

The first step to knowing a supportive partner, is to be clear about your interests. If you don’t know what you’re about, how do you expect someone else to be about it too!


If you don’t know where you’re going in life, how do you expect a sensible person to choose to go with you? This is so important!

Before you can seek someone to support your goal, you must be fully sure about pursuing that goal.

2)Talk about your purpose&passions with him/her often.

Don’t spend all your time together eating, drinking and saying I love you. Talk about your interests, dreams, goals, plans.

Share your ideas and ask for their input. Paint the picture of the future you dream about, to them.

Ask about their purpose and passions too, listen intently and offer your input. This is how you know if you have things in common and if you’re going in the same direction.

3)Watch their reactions.

Do they look interested when you talk about important things like this or they just want to change the topic to something less important?

Do they roll their eyes😩 or make any negative body language or maybe even shut you up verbally?😞.

Body language is so important. Don’t just listen to what someone says, observe how they say it.

4)Watch for follow through.

If he/she does not support you now, they won’t support you in the future. If he/she doesn’t encourage you to follow your interests now, they won’t in the future.

Support can come in form of words of encouragement, ideas on how to make your work better (this tells you they are thinking about your interests).

It also means checking up on you about your plans if you haven’t spoken about it in a while, and support can even be financial.

He or she might not be rich, but they would want to contribute something to help you, no matter how little. So watch their actions now!

5) Give them the opportunity to show up for you.

It’s good to have someone encourage you verbally, but will they show up for you physically?

Invite them to the places and events that matter to you. See if they are willing to be present in your world. Actions speak louder than words right?

6) Give it time.

People can pretend for a while but with time and the natural challenges of life, who they really are will show.

So be patient. Don’t rush to the altar within a few months of a relationship. Wait to see if their character remains unchanging over a period of time.

To truly know whether a person is supportive of you or not, time is one of your best assets, so don’t rush.

Signs of a supportive partner.

3 other signs to watch out for. Watch it here 👇

Wishing you God’s best in your relationship.


2 thoughts on “How to choose a partner that supports your dreams&goals.”

  1. Good Day Ma,
    Thank you for this topic. in one your points you said we should not rush to the alter, what if he is the one that GOD has ordain to be your partner ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello. I’m glad you asked this question.

      Even if he is the one that God has ordained to be your partner, God didn’t say you should rush to marry. In fact, patience is one of the fruits of the spirit and an evidence of godly love. 1Cor 13 : 4, Galatians 5:22.

      Scripture also says “For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?”
      ‭‭Luke‬ ‭14‬:‭28‬ ‭KJV‬‬

      You are trying to build a future for the rest of your life, you need to take your time to count the cost. God is not going to build the marriage for you, God is not going to live physically with you and run your home from day to day.

      You need to learn how to live with your partner’s personality, character, decision making style etc.

      You need to learn and develop into the kind of partner that can sustain a happy successful marriage.

      And though this learning and developing continues for a life time, it begins before marriage and God won’t do this for you.

      God should never be your excuse to rush into a marriage you didn’t adequately prepare for!

      I hope this helps you. Please seek one on one counseling if you think you need it for your specific situation.


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