Heyyy! You did it. You kept your virginity until your wedding! Wow, that is so uncommon these days and I am super proud of you.
Now that you’re here, married and ready for sex, how do you proceed?
Maybe you’ve heard different stories about the pain, the awkwardness, the blood etc. and that has set you on edge.
Do not fret, everyone has different experiences just as our bodies are different. The most important thing is that you’re sharing this beautiful experience with your husband! Doing it God’s way and in God’s time. Treasure that!
Now, how do you have a beautiful first time experience that you will always look back on with fondness?
Here are a few guidelines:
1) Don’t expect too much from yourself or your spouse!
You are just starting this journey into the world of sexual bliss. Do not pressure yourself by comparing yourselves with tv stars, porn stars, romance novel details, as the case may be. Those people have spent years practicing and perfecting their skills.
Enjoy your newbie phase. The good thing about it is that you have the rest of your lives to learn about sex together. I’ve been married 5 years and I’m still learning!
Don’t pressure yourselves and don’t let anyone pressure you. You are here to learn what you like and what your spouse likes.
Focus on learning not on perfection!
2) Pursue pleasure not penetration.
Sex is more than just penetration, it begins with pleasuring yourselves, so make that your focus.
Foreplay isn’t just a preliminary to sex, foreplay is sex, so revel in it and don’t rush. No one is going to give you an award for getting to penetration the first night or even the first week after.
In fact, learn how to bring yourselves to orgasms without penetration so you can begin to master the art of foreplay without the fear of painful penetration.
3) Be expressive!
Yup, no closed mouths here! As you are exploring, be explosive with words. Telling your partner if something feels good, how good it is, if you want more of that, if you want something else etc.
Open up and talk without judgements or criticisms. And receive your spouse’s feedback as well.
When the deed is done, relax and talk about it again, highlighting all that you enjoyed( in case your spouse was too involved to hear the first time😂) and ask what he also enjoyed.
Neither of you are mind readers, so open up and talk about every detail.
4) Seek knowledge.
There are people who know more than you in this aspect, and their knowledge will help you achieve your desires.
Go for detailed knowledge about the art of sex from proven sources e.g sex counselors, books written by seasoned sex/marriage counselors etc.
You cannot get better at it if you don’t open up to learn, so learn.
Get the theory, practice it with each other and decide together what works and what doesn’t.
That’s how to move from basic sex to mind blowing sex.
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I wish you the very best in this new and exciting journey called marriage.
Follow this blog for more tips to help you build a godly and deeply fulfilling love life.
With all my love❤️
Mrs O😊
Courtship&Marriage 