One of the biggest lessons I learnt during my single years was this – I can decide who to have feelings for.
You see for me this was huge, because having fed my mind constantly with romance novels, and movies, I was used to the idea that having feelings for someone that you just can’t help is normal. (We all know that “strong” attraction that doesn’t seem to go away even when the facts about the person or the situation don’t add up😔).
This was cool, until about 3 years into my relationship when I “developed” an attraction towards another guy. I didn’t know how to handle it. I broke up with my boyfriend because even though I knew he was a great guy, I couldn’t be with him when my affections were with someone else. I didn’t know how to live a double life. I’m glad I still don’t. I hope you don’t too😊.
It was a period of heartache for me. The guy I had feelings for was determined not to be in a relationship with me, because he knew I was in a serious relationship before we met and he felt he was “snatching” me (today I’m grateful for his nobility because it gave me a chance to learn this life changing lesson and the opportunity to be truly happily married to the love of my life).
At that time, I was just lost in between two great guys and losing out because I thought I couldn’t control how I felt, or rather because I allowed my feelings to stray away from my commitment.
It took me about a year and half of regrettable pain that I caused my boyfriend for me to learn the hard truth – I have the power to choose who I love. My feelings do not hold the control, I, my will, does. When I allow my will to lead, my feelings will follow. And they have been following for the past seven years.
The only great thing that came out of this experience (of falling for someone else) was that lesson, which I am doubly glad I learned before I got married.
Yes your feelings matter, but if you’d be honest with yourself,you’d admit that feelings come and feelings go. They are like waves, you can’t build on them.
Yes, you should be attracted to the person you eventually get married to, but guess what will sustain the attraction when the daily grind of married life becomes exhausting – the facts about his/her character.
A lifelong decision such as marriage should never be based on feelings or “emotional connection” alone.
And more importantly, don’t forget: You control your feelings. You decide who to have feelings for!
But how do you really control your feelings so they don’t lead you into the wrong relationship or so that you don’t end up cheating (emotionally) on your boyfriend/spouse?
I’d talk about this in my next blog post. Follow this blog now so you will be notified immediately it drops.
Until next week 😎
With all my love❤️
PS: In case you’re here often reading my posts but not posting a comment or following, I see you😐, lol no I don’t 😂, please say “hi” at least, let me know I’m not writing for nobody😂.
P.P.S: A big thank you to all those who regularly like, comment, share. You make it make sense!
P.P.P.S: for my dear husband, I know you’d eventually read this post when you get a chance, thanks again for fighting for our love!❤️