Have you ever found yourself in a relationship, maybe even a godly relationship, where you have to constantly “motivate” your man to do something or be something?
For some reason, ladies seem prone to always have to motivate or push a man towards something that seems good to them.
We have been doing this long before we were born, lol. Eve thought the fruit was good and gave it to Adam. Sarah got tired of waiting and gave her maid to Abraham (and we are still here dealing with the result of that😢).
Yes, sometimes we do motivate people towards what is actually good, not just what seems good to us. However, it is only a matter of time before our “seemingly gentle” push, done with the best of intentions becomes seen as a disturbing nag or relentless complain.
So where do you draw the line? How do you know what you can push for and what you shouldn’t push for, so as not to put unnecessary strain on your relationship or end up in a marriage you’d regret?
Here are three issues I believe you should never have to push a man on:
I don’t know how we measure this, lol, but a lot of times, ladies typically think their man can or should be more spiritual. Perhaps you are right and perhaps you are not, you can never tell, only God knows for certain. One thing I know is this, his spiritual growth will only come about by the Holy Spirit, not by your prodding and pushing, so back off.
If you want to help, turn off your unsolicited suggestions on how he can be better and turn on your prayers. If you are unmarried and you believe he cannot lead your home spiritually, then don’t marry him. No one is forcing you, so don’t put yourself in a situation where you would begin to force a man to grow spiritually.
Are you in doubt? Counsel is available at the end of this post.
Let’s be clear, you do not have a right over his dreams. His desires for himself may not, and do not need to be your desires for him. A lot of times, we are typically pushing a man to pursue our dreams for him, not his dream for himself. So before you start pushing him to pursue something you believe is good, you need to actually listen to what he wants for himself.
If he shares his dreams with you, accept it and applaud it before you make any “contributions”. If you have to constantly push a man to pursue his own dream, then something is wrong. And if you don’t see yourself going in the direction he is describing or you don’t see him taking any step whatsoever towards the supposed dream, don’t marry him. But first listen to his dream, not your dream for him.
I understand that in a lot of cases, it’s the lady that brings up the conversation about where the relationship is headed. However, if you have to be the one talking about marriage every single time, it’s either he is not ready or he is not sure it’s you he wants to be married to. Whichever the case may be, forcing him will most likely lead to a life of regrets.
If you bring up the issue once or twice and he doesn’t seem to be forthcoming, let him know your time isn’t available for wasting, and exit the relationship as amicably as you can. A lot of people talk about how Ruth laid at the feet of Boaz, but forget to mention that Boaz ensured the obstacle to getting married to her was cleared off that same day, that same day sis! You should never have to push or emotionally blackmail a man to get married to you.
Do you agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments.
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